


New Year Blues

by YourRoyalShyness (sallyslittlelamb)



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Minor Character Death, My First Fanfic, New Year angst, Sherlock's POV, also bad at titles, and terrible at summaries, sorry if it sucks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-11 01:09:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5608030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sallyslittlelamb/pseuds/YourRoyalShyness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Sherlock experiences a tragedy John attempts to be there for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	New Year Blues

**Author's Note:**

> My first time posting anything so please be kind. Also thank you for reading because I was super nervous putting this out.

-20 minutes until the new year begins-

Holidays have always been dull in Sherlock's opinion but he especially abhors New Years. He believes it to be completely ridiculous to celebrate the complete revolution of one measly planet around one ordinary star when in actuality there is nothing special about this one day whatsoever. 

Except this time is different. 

This new upcoming year will be unlike any other because six days ago Mycroft Holmes died. The heart that Sherlock Holmes certainly didn't have was definitely not breaking. There was not a room in his mind palace that was forced into smallest darkest corner, door locked shut, since he heard the news. And there was not even the slightest bit of acknowledgement that on this particular new years eve, when the clock strikes twelve Sherlock will be plunged into a whole new world where his brother does not exist. Sherlock didn't even think about the fact that for the first time in a long time, his world will be dark and confusing and lonely in a way that it hasn't been since he had been in rehab. 

"Sherlock." John called, as if he had had to repeat himself a few times. Sherlock turned his face away from the window in their flat in order to assess John's facial expressions and body language. His hands curled in on themselves before relacing again several times and he was perched on the edge of his seat, as if ready to jump to standing at any given moment. His face was lined with worry made even more true when he owned his mouth and said, "Are you okay?"

Sherlock returned to his former position in front of the window, arms crossed. "Of course I am John. Why wouldn't I be?"

John's soft breath intakes echoed in Sherlock's ears as the other man searched for something to say. "Well, we lost you for a bit there, mate."

"Perhaps I was just lost in thought." Sherlock murmured softly. There was a pause of silence before the sound of John rising to his feet, his footsteps moving closer to his friend. 

"Sherlock look I think we should talk." Shelock turned his back to the window in order to turn his razor sharp gaze onto John, a warning, not that John it paid any attention. 

"And what exactly should we be talking about?"

"About your brother." John stated blatantly. "His death was a shock to all of us and I know you loved him-"

Sherlock's face twisted into something ugly. "I need a cigarette." He spat. He attempted to storm his way towards the front door, brushing John's shoulder cooly but he was stopped by a firm grip on his wrist. 

"I don't think it's a good idea for you to be alone right now." John said in a low voice. 

"And why is that?" Sherlock bit out, not looking at John. 

"Because you are obviously upset. Look I know you and Mycroft had a bit of a strained relationship," Sherlock scoffed, "but I can see how much this hurting you. If you would just talk to me maybe-" Sherlock ripped his hand from John's grip. 

"Is this your piss poor attempt at being my therapist John? It's understandable how incompetent you are at it given that you've never seen it done properly despite you seeing a therapist yourself for the past several years, but let this serve as a reminder that you are a doctor of the physical attribute not of the mind." 

There was a stunned silence before John's face set itself a little harder. "You're being nasty because of the lose you just suffered but I'll have you know that throwing a tantrum and pushing away peole who want to help you is not something you want yo do right now." John's voice was low amd calm and Sherlock was shocked into silence, cheeks burning red with shame. "Now if you would stop acting like a bloody child and just talk to me for fuck's sake-"

"AND SAY WHAT JOHN!" The sudden change in volume shocked John into a small jump and seemed to unlock Sherlock from his statue impersonation. He now paced back and forth his hands tugging roughly at his hair. "Do you want to hear how I want to contact my old dealer again, especially now, but I'm afraid I'll succeed because I no longer have Mycroft around keeping tabs on me? Maybe you want to hear about how every single deduction I will ever make will feel like I'm setting myself on fire because he was the one who taught me everything I know. Or perhaps you would like to hear how now that he is gone, there will be no one else who can see the world as I do, no one who understands me the way he did, that I am now officially completely alone." Somewhere along the line, Sherlock began crying, fat years rolling over his prominent cheek bones, nose dripping as he rubs his face harshly as if to scrub the grief right off of his face. John rushes foreward and wraps his arms around him without a second thought. 

"You are not alone Sherlock. As long as I am here you will never be alone again." he murmurs into Sherlock's chest. 

"You can't possibly know that John. You won't be here forever. You'll find someone new, someone who deserves you, and you'll move on with your life." Sherlock's grip around John grows tighter as if he couldn't bear the thought of having to let him go one day. 

John slowly eases out of Sherlock's embrace and moves his hands so that they are firmly on Sherlock's shoulders staring him straight in the face. "Sherlock, this is my life. There is never going to be anything but this for me. Never going to be anyone else because I..." John's gaze drifts down away from Sherlock's clear blue eyes and his right hand slides down until is directly over his Sherlock's heart and swallowed, "I love you Sherlock Holmes." 

Sherlock stops breathing. 

"And I know my timing is absolute shit and I know that I can't do anything to fix this and I know that my love couldn't possibly measure up to the love your brother had for you or you for him," John blurts out in a rush, slighlty hysterical, "But I'm not trying to fill the placehole he left behind, I swear. I just needed you to know because... well, because I wanted you to know that I want us to go through this together. I wanted to mke sure that you knew that you will always, always be loved and that you are never alone."

If it were any other time, if this was any other life, Sherlock would have surged forward and kissed John until he ran out of breath. He would kiss John and tell him all of the things he had felt for him since to first day they met. But here and now, Sherlock can only hold John as close to him as possible, no intentions of ever letting go, and hope that it's enough. 

And for now it is. Midnight. 

-Happy New Year-

**Author's Note:**

> My first time posting anything so please be kind. Also thank you for reading because I was super nervous putting this out.


End file.
